The Fairy Travelling Companion
by ILAUGHATYOUALL
Summary: A tale of a traveller and his fairy - er... - companion. My Fairy Tail twist of a version of Hans Christian Andersen's classic fairy tale. Full of Mira's whimpering, semi-evil Lucys, traditional descriptions and writing style, but crazy FT dialogue, Makarov's "DAMMIT MY THUMB!" and Exceeds. God, those damn Exceeds. Oneshot. Beware the swearing. And the small bit of OOCness. - -


This is dedicated to Fairyhearts and El. They are awesome. Oh, and a shout out to my beta reader for this, adryanna's echo. Also I'd like to give thanks to Stormfoedt, Redwriter17, and Monogatari no Sakka. If I forgot you, then I shall cry myself to sleep.

* * *

A/N: This just came to me one day. Thought I'd publish it. Fairy Tail just seems to meld nicely with fairy tales. Might make more of these. Anyway, this is just one of the versions of the original story that I used. Natsu is 18 in this, in case you were wondering. Also, I decided to write this story in kind of an oldish type of style, but the dialogue is totally FT. It's funny, if I do say so myself. This is one of those stories where the dialogue totally contradicts the wording, like the characters don't want to obey the author. Oh, and BEWARE THE SWEARING.

* * *

Natsu sat close by his father's bedside, his body and especially his back shaking with his sobs. His father, Igneel, was close to death, breathing his last breaths on a lumpy bed in their small hut of a house.

"Natsu..."

He raised his head to gaze at his fading father. His knees were aching by now, but he didn't care. "Yeah dad?" His voice was shaking.

"You have been a damn good son. The best I coulda' had. Don't..." - he shuddered. Natsu lunged forward, his eyes wide as tears spilled out of them - "Don't be crying and snotting all over yourself. I'm going.." - coughing. _Terrible _coughing. - "to a better place. Live the best party life that you can live. Make me" - Igneel's eyes widened as he realized this was his last breath. A small smile graced his lips, and with his last bit of life he uttered two words. - "some grandkids."

This time Natsu didn't hold back his anguish. His mother was dead, as were his brother and sister. And now the only family left to him, his father, was gone. He was alone in the world. He glanced down at his father's peaceful and calm face, and wept harder. He took a shaky breath and leaned his head against the wooden bedpost. He fell asleep in that position, not even contemplating his father's last words.

Seconds after he drifted off, a strange dream came to him. The sun shone in a bright green field, covered in flowers and sweet sounds and smells. Best of all, his father stood not five feet away from him, alive and well.

"Dad!" cried the boy, rushing toward his father and wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug. A wash of relief came over him when the red-haired man hugged back.

"Oi, son," said Igneel, pulling back, "Look at _this_." He gestured to his side, where a lovely maiden was standing. Natsu was almost ashamed of himself, not noticing her before. Her hair was long, golden, and shining. Her eyes were large and well-shapen, and he felt like he could get lost in their deep brown hues. On her beautiful head sat a crown of pure gold, set with diamonds. She was gorgeous.

Igneel took Natsu's hand and also the beautiful princess's hand. He brought them together and smiled. So did Natsu. So did the girl.

"See this girl you got? She is the damndest prettiest girl in the whole wide fucking world."

Natsu didn't have time to respond. The whole dream, which had seemed so _real, _faded away in an instant. He woke to find his dead, now cold father, and himself, now orphaned. He was miserable.

The next day a funeral was held. It was a lonely and sad funeral. Natsu was the only one to attend, for he was the last of the family left alive. He watched as dark brown dirt fell over the simple coffin that held his father's body. And then the tears fell. They streamed down his face, even as some kind people sang hymns to help the dead. He looked up toward the heavens and the bright blue sky, and resolved to travel. He wasn't sure for how long, or to what places, but he was going to travel. What he wanted to find, he wasn't certain, but he would find it.

And so the very next morning Natsu packed his small bundle of clothes, gathered what little money he had left, and set out to find his fortune, or whatever he was trying to find, in the world.

The first hours of his walk were pleasant. The sun was rising slowly into the sky, looking like an orange egg yolk. The sky itself was changing colors rapidly, going from dark blue, to grey, to pink, to orange and to blue as the sun rose at the beginning of its course. The day was beautiful.

He travelled on through the day, taking stops to replenish his water supply, and to rest. His feet began to hurt more by the end of the day than he had ever imagined they would. By the time it was night, he went into a church that he was near and slept in one of the benches that lined the sanctuary.

Natsu was awoken by a loud thunder clap. He cursed and covered his sensitive ears. Lighting flashed bright blue and yellow in the darkening sky, but the color was blurred by the ornate and colorful windows of the church. He could feel a deep booming thunder shaking the ground, and sat up quickly. He grabbed his belongings and ran out of the church, into the rain and thunder and lightning.

Suddenly, the storm ceased.

Out beyond the churchyard, was a graveyard, filled with unearthly blocks of stone with inscriptions on them. In the middle of the yard, two men stood beside an open coffin, in it lying a dead manwho had obviously just been buried. They had dug him out of the ground.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?! That's a fucking corpse!" he shouted, running into the graveyard. When he reached the men, they glared at him, but stood their ground.

"This man cheated us, you asshole! He borrowed money from us and got off by dying! We're here decided to totally fuck up his grave!" one of them yelled. Natsu was disgusted. Grave robbers that threw the poor body out? It was wrong. He was about to run at them, when he had an idea.

"Here, take this money you dipshits. If you do, you have to leave the damn corpse alone," he offered, showing his small pouch of coins.

The men accepted his offer, and left, laughing at him. He didn't mind, though. He'd done a good deed. Of course, he was still a little hot-headed. He'd had to hold himself back from attacking them. But he was feeling lonely and wasn't up to a fight at that moment.

After Natsu had reburied the body, he continued on his way, his load lighter than it was before. Probably because he'd given away all of those heavy coins. He travelled on through the night, even going through a magic forest. In it were little flying cats. No kidding, _flying cats__**. **_They danced and flew around him, laughing and giggling at him. A particular one, which was blue, was exceedingly annoying.

"GET OFF MY HEAD!" cried Natsu, swiping at the cat. Of course, the magical Exceed avoided his scratching and flew off, laughing again.

By the time Natsu left the forest, he was irritable, and definitely ready pick a fight with whoever he saw next. He was just about to attack a tree, when he heard a voice calling out to him.

"Hey there, you! Going somewhere?! Wanna grab some chicks?!"

He looked up to see a black-haired boy, not much older than himself. He had dark eyes, so dark that Natsu couldn't see his pupils. Oh, and he wasn't wearing a shirt.

"Who the hell are you?!"

"Ah," said the guy, "My name... is Gray. That sounds really epic."

Natsu nodded stiffly. "I'm not going anywhere that's _your _business."

"I'm comin' with ya."

"What?! Why the hell?"

"You need a travelling companion, right? I'm even better. I'm a fucking fairy too."

"Oh, god. Really? A fairy?"

"Naw I was just fucking with you. But, seriously, can I come?"

"Yeah... whatever."

So Gray went with Natsu. Pretty soon, they discovered that though they had tons of arguments, they really were like each other. They both had lost their family, and both were in need of travelling for the sake of travelling.

It had been three days of travelling together, when they came upon an inn. In the inn, Gray produced several coins and purchased them lunch with it. They brought the bread and cheese that he had bought under a tree and ate it.

A young and beautiful woman with long flowing silver-white hair passed by them, carrying a basket of firewood atop her head. She tripped over a loose rock violently, crying out as she hit the ground. Natsu was by her side in a heartbeat.

"Hey! Hey, lady! Are you dead?!" he yelled, shaking her shoulders.

"No," she whispered, "I'm fine..."

"BS!" cried Gray, pointing down at her accusingly, "That's a broken leg if I ever saw one!"

The snow-haired woman whimpered.

"Here," said Natsu, "I can take you back to your house so we can get you medicine or something." He glared at Gray for being so inconsiderate.

"Actually, I can fix it here. Don't need no medicine crap," announced Gray. Natsu's eyes widened, but he watched, curious, as his travelling 'fairy' companion pulled out a small black flask. It was shaped like an ancient amphora, and was shiny, like it had been polished constantly for over a year or something. He opened the cork and put two drops on the woman's broken leg. Instantly, it healed. She gasped, throwing her head back, then she let her breath out.

"Thanks," she breathed, still overcome.

"You're very welcome, lady." He reached his arm out for her to grab onto, and pulled her up.

_Smooth, you player, _thought Natsu.

"In exchange," Gray grunted, "Could I have that whip you have at the bottom of your woodpile in the basket?"

The lady's eyes widened. "Uh, of course. Anything. Thank you so much."

And they were soon on their way once again. Natsu was silent, choosing not the say anything about what he had just seen. How Gray had known about the whip was beyond him, but he wasn't going to ask.

"Sooo... what did you think?"

Natsu jumped, almost veering off of the dirt road that they were walking on. He turned and saw that Gray was looking at him expectantly.

"Uh, what?"

"What. Did. You. Think?"

"Oh," said Natsu, finally getting what he meant, "I thought it was awesome. Like... magic, or something stupid like that."

Gray nodded. "Exactly."

They didn't speak more until they had reached the next town. It was past dinner time, and the sky was darkening. Gray and Natsu walked into a candlelit inn, exhausted. They plopped down in one of the wooden benches and ordered their meals. Natsu's was very large, and with a pointed look from Gray, he made it a tiny bit smaller. Not much, though.

Out of the blue, a scream erupted from the kitchen. Natsu's head turned toward the sound in a split second, and another second later both he and Gray were running toward to kitchen door. They burst through the entrance, only to see that the chef was lying on the ground in a pool of blood.

"Aaaagh! What the fuck!" yelled Natsu at the sight. He jumped up into the air, but Gray, at the same time, ducked downward toward the poor chef. He was a small old man, with most of his hair gone and a large mustache. He was clutching his right hand like it was life itself.

"What is it, Gramps?" asked Gray, suddenly using informal speech. Natsu blinked, his shock temporarily subsiding.

"M-my thumb!" the old man yelled all of a sudden, "DAMMIT MY THUMB!"

"Oh, my god!" screamed Natsu.

The old cook had severed his right thumb from his hand. Blood was spurting out of the stump, as 'Gramps' began frantically cursing, using worse and worse words to describe his pain and suffering. It was a horrifying sight.

"OH, DAMMIT MY THUMB! I'M NEVER TOUCHING A KNIFE AGAIN!"

"_Shut up_!" hissed Gray, "I can fix this little fuck up of yours, but for a price. I want your big knife."

"TAKE IT!"

Gray smiled, and again took his strange and mysterious flask out and dropped a few drops onto the old man's stump of a thumb. Instantly, it was renewed. The old man looked at his new finger in wonder, gaping. He had stopped his constant flow of curses.

"Is the old piece of thumb still around?!" was his only question. Gray made a disgusted face, and urged Natsu to follow him. On their way out, he grabbed the big knife and slid it into his pack, along with the dinner they didn't finish.

By and by they continued on their long journey. As time went on, their dirt road became wider. Soon it wasn't dirt, but a cobblestone road. Natsu looked forward along their route and saw that they were nearing the Capital of their country, Magnolia. The high arches and large buildings and towers were magnificent in the morning light of their journey. Both of the boys were amazed by the sheer size of the city.

"Let's start shit in there," said Gray. Natsu nodded in approval.

They made it past the guards of the city, including the captain of the guard. She was female, but was extremely vigilant and particular about security issues. They were just able to get the knife into the city walls, but it was close.

"What the hell is in that pack of yours?" she had asked incredulously. Her dark long red hair was down, and it flowed around her like a cape. She was Captain of the Guard, Erza Scarlet.

"Crap," answered Gray honestly, shrugging. Erza understood and let them pass.

When they entered the city, it was bustling with activity. Hundreds of people passed through the streets. On one of the high walls that encircled, Natsu and Gray spotted a small blue object flying around the top. Suddenly, it began to descend, falling until it landed right in front of them.

"You again!" Natsu was surprised. "You fucking cat! You damned, fucking cat!" It was the blue Exceed that had tricked him and played with him. It giggled again.

"Oh, don't be a baby, Natsu," he said, standing up and lifting his hand up in greeting.

"I'm not a baby," Natsu insisted.

"Well I'm sure as hell not one either. My name is Happy. I used to be able to fly... but I got cursed so I can only do it sometimes..."

"Oh good," muttered Gray quietly, "I could fix that, if I could" - he whispered something to Happy that Natsu was unable to hear - "That would work, right?"

The Exceed nodded. In his consent, Gray pulled his flask out once more and tipped it over Happy's back. A few drops came out and immediately, two white wings sprouted forth and flapped. The blue cat rose off of the ground, and landed on Natsu's shoulder.

"I like him. He's with me now, Gray. Screw you."

In the central and largest street of the city, the crowds had subsided, but still many people were lining the way. A royal procession was making its way down that very road. Trumpeters were first, then a marching band that played music for the procession, and finally horses that pulled a grand white carriage. There was no top, as it wasn't needed due to the weather. There was one person sitting in the carriage passenger car, her head held high.

"Holy fuck..." whispered Natsu. His face had become as red as a ripe beet, and he couldn't utter more than that.

"What the hell is it?" asked Gray. Then he too saw the maiden. "Holy..."

She was beautiful. Flawless. Amazing. She was the same beauty that Natsu had seen in his dream, the one that his father had shown to him. Her blonde hair, and almost everything about her was exactly the same as it was in his vision, but her eyes. They were still brown, and looked beautiful, but they were empty.

"She's preeetty!" exclaimed Happy, pointing at her excitedly. Natsu could do nothing but nod in response. He knew, from that moment, that girl was to be his bride.

"She's fucking mine," he whispered under his breath.

Gray grunted in response.

"Seriously, I gotta talk to her," claimed Natsu, only too ready to meet his beloved.

"I'll back you up, man."

And so Gray followed Natsu quietly. Happy sat atop Natsu's rose-colored head, wagging his tail like he was a canine. Natsu sprinted toward the carriage, dodging the guards and marching band until he was in front of the four white horses that pulled it.

"OI! YOU UP THERE!" he shouted to her, cupping his hands around his mouth, "YOU'RE GONNA BE MY WOMAN!"

The princess blinked in a startled response. Then a slow, sly smile spread across her beautiful features, like a crack in an ornate vase.

"We shall see, you idiot," she muttered quietly in response. He raised a rose-colored eyebrow at her, probably expecting a different response.

"Here," she said, gesturing toward the entrance to the royal castle, "Come right in. The breakfast is crap, but you did say you wanted me..."

Natsu followed the royal carriage, with Gray following him and Happy sitting on his shoulders. They went inside the castle, and their eyes widened at the sheer size of the courtyard. Green grass and fountains were the main landscape, and Gray and Happy were awed. Natsu, however, paid no heed to the scape and beauty of the inner castle. His eyes were transfixed upon the princess.

The golden-haired princess stepped slowly out of her carriage, revealing the full extent of her dress and shoes. She was wearing a light pink fluffy dress, that Natsu saw to be glowing. Her shoes were sparkling and pure white. She walked gracefully down toward the entrance of the entrance to the greeting hall, where she nodded to each of the travellers as they knelt. Natsu, in addition to kneeling, grasped her hand and planted a kiss upon it.

"You're gorgeous. How did you get so gorgeous?" he asked in wonder.

She laughed, the sound like tinkling bells. "I was born this way, I think. Y'know the Lady GaGa song?"

"Yup," Natsu agreed, "Now what do I have to do to marry you?"

"Hmmm," the beautiful princess began, "Don't you want to at least know my name? Or are you one of those indecent types?"

"No!" he insisted. To prove this, he took her hand and gazed into her eyes earnestly. "What's your name?"

"Lucy."

"Aha!" said Natsu, successful, "I knew you had one of those cute hottie names!"

"Uh-huh. _Right_," muttered Gray.

"Well then, you idiot, if you really want to marry me, then you have to pass the test."

Princess Lucy clapped her hands twice, and a young page appeared, holding a parchment. On the parchment read these words:

_If you want to marry the princess you must:_

_1. Eat dinner with her and her father_

_2. Guess what she's thinking of_

_Good day. (It's probably your last.)_

Gray, Natsu, and Happy stared at the parchment together. Natsu was the first to speak.

"I don't read much..."

"OH, MY GOD, YOU CAN'T EVEN READ?!" questioned Gray. He looked to Natsu with exasperation.

"Here, cat brain" - "HEY!" cried the Exceed. - "It says that in order to marry the princess you have to have dinner with her and her dad and guess what she's thinking."

"But what if she's thinking something gross and girly?! Do I gotta say it in front of the King?!"

"Yup," Gray replied grimly.

"So then, I guess we gotta go have dinner now?" asked Natsu.

The princess shook her head. "Tomorrow's the dinner. Tonight you can eat with my dad."

"Oh. Dammit."

Her brown eyes softened at his dismay. "Suck it up."

Not long after that time, Natsu, Gray, and Happy sat in a grand and beautiful dining room at a large and intricately carved dark oak table. The king sat at the end, and Natsu's group sat close by him. They were discussing the princess and the qualifications to marry her.

"Goddamn smart aleck she is," muttered the king, sniffling. He wiped his brow of sweat and crossed his arms. "I think you oughta go find some other girl to get hooked with. She's impossible. You even have to guess what she's thinking."

"We've got that down old man," Gray said softly, almost under his breath. A small smile, almost unnoticeable, was placed on his mouth.

"Well beyond that she's a total witch. Literally."

"You don't have a very good opinion of your daughter, do you?"

"Hell no!" insisted the king. He then wiped his mouth of the grease from the roasted beast they had just consumed and ended the dinner. He thanked the travellers for coming, let them know when they were to be called for tomorrow, and notified a servant to show them their rooms.

"Be in that damn breakfast hall at 8 am sharp. Oh, and by the way. There's extra rules to the contest. I'll let the princess-brat tell you them before you sign your life away."

"Ah. Whatever," said Natsu, nodding.

* * *

Gray opened the door to Natsu's room silently, then, seeing that he was sound asleep, crept away slowly. He woke Happy.

"It's time, you little bitch."

"I'm not a bitch," Happy insisted, his whisper harsh, "I'm a _cat_."

"Same thing."

"Touché."

The Exceed sprouted it's small, white wings and grabbed Gray's hood, carrying him through a window and out of the castle walls. They sat at the top of a tall castle turret not far from the princess' room and lay waiting for the moment she left. Finally, they spotted her standing on the edge of the ledge of her bedroom balcony.

Suddenly, a golden glow surrounded her and she flew with the speed of a shooting star toward a dark cave in the distance. Gray and Happy followed.

"How the fuck can she fly?" asked Gray. Happy shrugged, as the answer eluded him as well.

Once the princess had reached the cave, the glow around her subsided, and she walked calmly in. Gray and Happy snuck behind her, determined to understand what was going on. They were barely able to make out a conversation, but then Gray was able to hear part of Lucy's speech.

"Okay, fine, you Chicken. I'll do it. But you gotta promise me that when you die, there will be frying in the kitchen."

A clucking sound responded.

"So you think I should think of a hamburger? That really sounds stupid, but whatever."

And with that he could hear her footsteps coming nearer to their location.

"Fuck! Let's get outta here!" whispered Gray urgently, prompting Happy to fly away quickly. However, they were quickly overtaken by the princess and her golden-colored magic. But it seemed that she could not see them.

"Hey," Happy giggled to himself, "Gray, why don't you use that whip you took and swipe her ass with it? Won't that make it hurt?"

Gray nodded. "But if I do that Natsu'll have my ass for dinner. Too much of a risk."

They agreed, and followed the princess back in silence.

* * *

The next morning, the rose-haired boy woke with a smile. He wondered if today would be a good day for him, and the thought energized him. He dressed quickly and met up with his black-haired companion outside of his door. To his surprise, Gray looked tired, and the skin under his eyes was dark, like he hadn't slept at all.

"Listen, Natsu. When that princess asks you what she's thinking, tell her 'hamburger'," Gray whispered urgently. Natsu raised his brows inquisitively, before responding.

"Why the fuck would she be thinking of a hamburger? Everybody always thinks of a cheeseburger!"

"That's the point," Gray insisted, "Just say hamburger, and you'll live."

"Oh fine. Fuck this."

Minutes later, they were sitting comfortably in a small breakfast nook. Princess Lucy sat regally as always in a pink white lace fringe chair. The table was set for a breakfast tea, but Natsu ate the scrambled eggs that had been brought especially for him ravenously.

"So," began the princess, laying down her napkin, "I want you to know the rest of the stuff for the contest before we begin and you get fucked over."

"Oh, yeah. Your dad mentioned somethin' about that. What was it?"

"Hmmm," she crossed her arms, "First of all, we have to do this three times."

"Well that doesn't sound too bad. Bet I could totally do it."

"Second of all, if you don't guess correctly..." she trailed off.

"What?! What is it?!"

"I'll chop your fucking head off."

"Oh, my fucking god."

"Yup," she agreed, "It's pretty damn bad. I suggest you think hard before you guess. So then... what am I thinking?"

She cleared her throat trying to calm herself obviously, but her face was troubled, like she didn't want to say it at all. Like it was painful for her.

"HAMBURGER!" Natsu proclaimed, standing up all of a sudden. Lucy watched him with wide brown eyes. Her breathing increased as the shock registered to her. It would impossibly seem that the boy had actually guessed correctly. She felt tears come to her eyes.

"The fuck? You... guessed right, surprisingly. Just get out of here... I'll see you tonight."

And with that she forced the poor Natsu to leave, even though he was extremely confused. He had guessed right, but the princess was in distress, and he felt the need to assist her in any way possible. But she had cast him out, so the only thing he could do was return to his room.

"Well? Was it a hamburger?!" asked Gray when he returned to find Natsu sprawled out across the ornately colored carpet on his floor.

"Mmmhm," Natsu managed to mutter from his position. He lifted his head and saw that Gray had a happy expression on his face.

"That's great! Now... I gotta go! See you later!"

Natsu raised his eyebrows in surprise. But he let Gray leave and relaxed back onto the rug. He took a nap.

* * *

Gray and Happy repeated the same process from last night. This time, they heard strange arguing over someone's butt, before the princess made her exit.

* * *

"Wake up, you sleepy ass!" cried a familiar voice. Natsu's eyes opened slowly and he gazed around, disoriented.

"Who the fuck-" he began to say, before stopping himself abruptly. It was the 'fairy', Gray, and his new cat, Happy.

"You're half a fucking hour late for your dinner with the princess!" Gray yelled, insistent. Natsu sat up and absentmindedly smoothed his hair back with his hand.

"God, what the fuck is wrong with you? You'd better go. Oh, and by the way, she's thinking of her butt," muttered Gray.

Natsu nodded, and quickly made his way to the grand eating hall. In the hall sat the king, along with the princess, both at the right side of the table, somewhere near the middle of the table. He walked toward them and sat on the other side, a grim smile on his face.

The king extended his hand and called for the dinner to be served. Natsu watched in wonder as the table was filled with the first course, too much food for just three people. He greedily began eating, because he had been asleep all the afternoon. He wondered offhandedly where Gray and Happy had been at that time.

"So, have you had time to think of what I'm thinking of?" asked the princess.

"Redundant."

"SHUT UP!"

"Ah, how about we continue with this stupid guessing? He got the first one right, didn't he?" asked the king. Both young adults nodded in agreement.

"Well, then _guess_. I wanna see this."

"You're thinking," Natsu began, placing his hand on the wood of the beautiful table, "Of your butt."

The princess turned white as a sheet, the shock and irregularity of the situation registering to her. She sat back in her seat, seemingly exhausted. Then, she stood and left the room swiftly. Natsu stood and walked after her, leaving the king to his happiness. Perhaps his daughter would finally marry.

"Where the fuck are you going?" called Natsu to the princess.

"Somewhere that you can't come!" she called out shakily.

"Well I'm comin' anyway!"

"You goddamn idiot! I'm going to go _change _into my _pajamas_! Now if you _really _was to see that, then go on right ahead!"

Natsu stomped back to his room, disappointed.

* * *

"Same process... with one small different thingy. Go the fuck away and quit with the repeats."

"Aye, sir."

"And remember to bring the knife you damn cat."

"I ain't no cat. I'm an Exceed."

"Whatever."

* * *

The very next morning Natsu awoke once again to the bright morning sunrise. He readied himself quickly, even pausing in front of the looking glass to examine his composure. Once he approved, he was about to knock on Gray's door when he spotted the very man he was looking for, along with his new cat. They looked exhausted, and Gray was carrying a large bag.

"Oh, god. What the fuck is in there?"

"Don't ask. When the princess asks you what she's thinking, then open this and show it to her."

"Is this one of those things that elementary school boys do to the girls they like?"

"Fuck, no _way_. No way in hell."

"Mhm. I _sooo _believe you."

"Just take the fucking bag and get to breakfast, unless you wanna be late again."

"Alright, _alright_!" Natsu cried, taking the bag from him and walking toward the breakfast nook. Princess Lucy sat in her regular chair, ever beautiful and ever. A small smile lit her face as she saw him.

"So, let's get this over with. What am I thinking of?"

"Um," Natsu paused, before opening the bag and showing her the contents. Inside, was the evil wizard's head.

"OMIGOD YOU FRIED IT FOR ME!"

Natsu looked down into the bag. Indeed, the job had been done.

"Oh, god. I love you! You fucking rock!" she proclaimed happily, taking his hand. She pulled him into a tight embrace, then kissed his soft lips.

"Mmmmmmmm! Mmmmm! Wutha... fuck..."

Once they broke apart, Natsu turned to see that Gray, Happy, and the king were all standing behind him. They smiled warmly at his happiness, and the king turned out to proclaim that his daughter, Princess Lucy, was to finally be wed. Bells were rung, the people sang and danced in the streets, and the king was happy for the first time in years.

"Kid, you will be the king of this country when I die," he said, proudly.

"So when are you gonna kick the bucket?"

"Shuddap. That's never gonna happen, dreamer!"

Natsu sighed. He turned, still holding Lucy's hand, to see if he could find Gray. He wasn't there. Only Happy remained.

"Hey, where the hell is Gray?" he inquired.

"He went outside," muttered the Exceed, looking perturbed.

"I'm gonna go look for him. I have to thank him." He kissed the princess' lips again and then set off in search of Gray.

"There's no need to go out looking for me," Gray grunted, "People'll start talking."

"Yeah, yeah," Natsu waved his hand dismissively. "Don't you want to join the party? It's huge!"

"Sure," muttered Gray. He fell toward the ground in slow motion.

"What the fuck is the narrator talking about?"

"I dunno, let's go party."

"Nah, we gotta wait a second..."

Gray groaned. He told Natsu in a whispering breath that he would always be with him and be his best friend, but not physically. He would die a slow and painful death, once again. He asked Natsu if he remembered the dead man's grave that he had saved. Natsu no-

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! I'M NOT DYING!"

Gray breathed out his last breath, as his head fell to the ground.

"Oh, god. Seriously? This is one of _those _stories?" Natsu moaned, mourning the loss of his friend.

"I'M NOT MOURNING THE LOSS!"

"Yeah! I'm still here! What the fuck is wrong with you?! We need a new narrator!"

"I don't think they're for hire. Anyway, I don't really give a fuck what the narrator says. I'm going to have some pizza at this dance party. I have a fiance now, you know."

"So we can't go lookin' for girls?"

"NO!"

"And you're _sure _I can't tell Lucy all about how you _dreamed _of her when you were _young _and you were all destined and all the crap?"

"NO! Er... I MEAN YES! YES! DON'T TELL HER!"

_And so this tragic tale ends, Natsu without his best friend in the world, but happy with his beloved fiance. But he never forgot his Fairy Travelling Companion._

"Oh my god, just stop already."

* * *

THANKS FOR READINGGGGG

Well, what did you think? Was it random? Funny? Did it make you pee your pants?


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